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4 months ago
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Carpe Diem
In another life I'd love to be a photographer. I really would. I am much more comfortable behind the camera than in front of it. I love to take pictures. Last year I made a goal to take one picture a day for the entire year (I failed - but not the point). However, as I look back over the years of pictures I have acquired I realize two things. 1) there aren't many of me. Which really is a double edge sword because I don't really like my picture to be taken. Im not a fan of seeing myself in a picture. What is there for my kidlets and their kidlets to look back on and remember. It seems kind of unfair when I look at it that way. And 2) Am I experiencing life when I do this? I mean really how much life do you experience behind the lens? Am I being too obsessive about capturing the moment that I'm not living in the moment? It's a fine line. What I'm saying is maybe there wont be as many pictures this year. A picture to capture a moment of the moment and then I intend to live within that moment more fully. I'll still take pictures and dream of being a photographer but for joy not for paranoia of forgetting or not recording. Carpe Diem
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3 comments:
Great post Tera. I have the same issues too. I'm in virtually none is okay in one sense because I don't really want to be documented right now, but regret in another because this is my life no matter what I look like. And, how much is actually documenting and how much is just obsessing over shooting the "perfect experience" without truly experiencing it?
I'm not a fan of seeing myself in pics either. I hate it as a matter of fact. I don't look like me anymore and even though I'm losing weight, my face is different and it's not the same as it was, for example, when we got married & I was on my way up in weight - I still had my skinny face then. Now that I'm back down to that weight, my face has yet to follow suit. I knew weight would change my body, I've been over weight (for me) before, but I never thought it would do this to my face. It breaks my heart.
Anyway, I really enjoy taking pics but there are times when I just tell myself to put my cell down (it's also my camera) and take it in with my eyes, ears, nose and heart. Then I can write about it later to remember if I want to.
I'm also trying to stay off the computer more. I love blogging, but with Goodreads & chatting and reading other blogs... HOURS upon HOURS go by and I haven't left our bedroom! I realized recently that I'd only spent 5 hours outside of this room in that day which means that I was in here for 19 hours?! Off! Off, off, off!
I got a beautiful new camera for christmas with the intentions of taking pictures every day...I have maybe taken 60 pictures all total. I, too hate to have my picture taken. So I am like you, always behind it.
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